crazy_octopus


Sideways Writing

The world is askew


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Lost and Loster still
crazy_octopus
Some days, you just want to quit.
Some days, you just feel like hiding under the blankets, closing the window blinds and sleeping it off. Sleep it off Vanrinkle-style and wake up when everything blows over.
Some days, you put down your guard and expose your face to the punches,
wallowing in the pain because it is still a feeling, after all. Anything will do, as long as you feel like you are alive.

Lately, I'm having more and more of those "Some days."

Today, the manager approached me and asked me what was wrong. A perfect opportunity to shout everything that has been eating my insides for the past few weeks. But instead, I just shrugged it off and bottled it back in. There's no use explaining when you don't know where to start yourself. I don't know what's wrong but every passing day seems to drag on like it's a year. Time goes by so fast and yet it seems to come to a standstill, like i'm wedged between two satellites revolving in opposite directions, with opposing gravitational pulls. 

I need a good long walk, so I'll probably visit UST's Paskuhan later on and just wander the corridors, the fields, or walk aimlessly while fireworks go off somewhere in the distance. I don't even know why I'd want to go there since it seems depressing; everyone is rejoicing and it'll just remind me how old I already am. But something inside is pulling me to that place, willing my feet to go to that direction despite the horde of Thomasians I have to battle along the way. I want to get drunk and make a scene and lunge beer bottles at birds in the sky. I want to shout myself hoarse and lie down on the field, sleep and wake up to the warm sunrise kissing my cheeks - beautiful sunrise that I have not seen for so long.  I want to get out of this shell of a body I am in and just explode into something spectacular, splendid enough to be at par with UST's fireworks. 
   
I don't want it to get to my head, but the lyrics of Phoenix's Lasso keeps repeating on loop: "Forever is a long long time if you lost your way.." Someone point me to the right direction. 

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