Sideways Writing

The world is askew

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Fate, Fortune, and Flacebos
(I've been hearing this phrase a lot in FB: Throwback Thursday, where people take past photos, dust off the cobwebs, and then show it to the world to illicit a reaction. Well, here is my own version of Throwback Thursday: going back to the blog that started it all. So let me just chase away the spiders with a broom before I update you with a few things that happened this week)

Today, I got my fortune told.

This is not really a regular thing that I do. I've never been to Quiapo, never been the superstitious type. In fact, I'm kind of an asshole to the whole thing, intentionally walking under ladders and crossing in front of black cats to give a big "F.U." to fate.

But this time, I just had to know. A lot of things happened this week that got me thinking about my future, about what comes next. I think most everyone thinks that they've got it all figured out. That is, until something really big happens and they realize they are grasping in the dark.

This week was the week when my long-time girlfriend and I broke up. The day after, I got back into smoking, after stopping for a year. The day after that, I got into a bitter argument with my parents that ended up in me getting kicked out. Needless to say, it's been one shitstorm after another. It didn't help that i've been feeling depressed and had suicidal tendencies for a year.

There was a certain sense of alienation to the regular world, like something had been unhinged. That's when I took to divination, courtesy of my psychic workmate.

She looked at my palm, then read my fate through tarot cards. Here's the summary:

  • That I'm dying from something, and work is aggravating that (die from hunger or die from being overworked?);

  • That I'm a really good saver, but I keep spending it on something that's why I cant REALLY save up for anything (read: you're gonna be broke either way);

  • That I'll be happy, eventually. As in when I'm nearing the end of my life (consolation prize);

  • That I'll have four serious relationships, before finding my true love (with the recent break-up, that makes it 2-0);

  • That I'll have two major careers. One of it, I'll be unhappy in. The other will leave me ecstatic (writing as a job is never really my thing);

  • That I have a hidden talent I've yet to unlock (if I'll ever unlock it at all);

  • That whatever I am meant to do, it's not here. I have to leave.

So, after all that, what does my reading tell me? For one, there's always a positive and negative side to everything -- a silver lining behind every shitstorm. It might be hard to see the "good" at first, with us being blind and all. But rest assured, it's there. Hell, if a bunch of cards can see it, so can you. 

Fortune telling is like the modern-day placebo. It really doesn't do anything for you; It doesn't point you to your love life, give you instant wealth, tell you when to pack up and leave, or where to go next. Plus, there is no telling if it'll come true or not...

But what it does is to give you hope -- hope to hang on for the next chapter, even if you badly want to throw the whole book away and give up. If you believe in the lines in your palm that tell you there's going to be a better tomorrow, then you live life looking forward to every new day, making the most out of your life.

Of course, that hope is pretty much useless without action, too. I still believe that there is really no such thing as luck; we make our own good fortune through actions. Don't just sit around waiting for the promise of "good things to come" -- work at it and make it a done deal.

I guess fortune telling is the medicine for depressed and lost people like me. Some might say its a whole lot of baloney and false prophecies. But it if gives you enough hope to hang on just a little bit longer -- to not end things abruptly -- then I see nothing wrong with that.

Because at the end of the day, trying to be optimistic is kind of the only option you have.

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what a very nice comeback post. :)

Thanks. Hope to stick around longer this time :)

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